Monday, September 24, 2007

Top 10 signs you know it's time to leave the nunnery

Yesterday marked the start of week 5 with the nuns. Not sure what we were thinking when we calculated this would be a 10-day layover. The curfew, the morning prayers, the fact we're on the periphery of town, the QUIET, all these things we first saw as a quaint transition now seem to thunder in our brains.

This is my last day here (I think) before I hit the road. In theory, the move should occur while I'm in London or New York, leaving Xtina to handle all the heavy lifting. To mark the planned departure (fingers crossed and voodoo candles lit) I thought I'd be constructive, compiling a list of helpful hints for those of you contemplating making a clean break yourself from convent life, metaphorical or actual.

So, here they are.

Top 10 signs you know it's time to leave the convent:

1) You start defining the world in terms of "in here" or "out there"
2) You realize smuggling beers into your room is not quite as exhilarating as it was in college.
3) You start repeating priest jokes.
4) You start humming "clappable" songs in public.
5) You refer to friends as "my child."
6) You communicate in a barely audible whisper.
7) You ask Romans to communicate in a barely audible whisper.
8) You find yourself commenting, "that's lovely. Did you sew it?"
9) You realize you're more of a John person, sighing heavily whenever Matthew or Mark are mentioned.
10) You grumble that the "St. Francis channel" on your satellite system keeps repeating the same programming.

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